<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>how do i tell you (i'm different than you thought) by nerdybutpunk</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839483">how do i tell you (i'm different than you thought)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdybutpunk/pseuds/nerdybutpunk'>nerdybutpunk</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Coming Out, Fluff, Multi, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Endgame, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Peter Parker, trans author</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:02:20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23839483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdybutpunk/pseuds/nerdybutpunk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter doesn't know if they're not saying anything because they know and are okay with it, or because they know and are just hoping it's a phase of his. He knows he should say something, but he's just not sure how. </p><p>Or, the one where Peter's trans and comes out to The Avengers, and there's a misunderstanding along the way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michelle Jones &amp; Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ned Leeds &amp; Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>205</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It starts like this: Mr. Stark had started inviting Peter over every other weekend and somehow Aunt May was okay with it. So every second weekend, Peter helps Mr. Stark in the lab, trains with the other Avengers, and kicks around Stark Tower. He doesn’t go home on Sunday evening, because Happy drops him off at school and his overnight bag back at Aunt Mays. He’s the happiest he thinks he’s ever been, even with The Thing looming over his head. He tells himself that Mr. Stark must know, because he scans Peter for his suit upgrades and everything else.</p><p>Okay, so maybe it didn’t start <em>exactly </em>like that. He may be leaving out some important details. Like how Bruce had snapped and brought everyone back, but then Thanos was there and Peter <em>finally </em>got to see Mr. Stark again but it was only for one minute, one hug in the middle of a battle bigger than them. And then instead of Carol snapping, Mr. Stark did, and Peter thought he was losing his second father figure right in front of his eyes <em>again</em>, but somehow Thor and Shuri made his heart keep beating long enough to keep him alive. And then in the hospital, Mr. Stark had firmly said that he’s never putting anything before his family again, and apparently Peter was involved in that family. It was later, when despite the Accords and everything the Avengers each got their own floors within the Tower, and Peter got his own room on Mr. Stark and Pepper’s floor. Mr. Stark said it was to show everyone that even though he’s not an Avenger anymore, they’re still under his protection. Peter thinks it’s just because he missed his friends.</p><p>The point of it is, Peter lives part-time at Avengers tower, and he’s pretty sure they’re going to call him out at any moment. It’s been six months, and no one’s said a word. He’s trained with everyone but Bucky (“Those webs are tough as shit to get out of the arm, kid, no way”), and no one’s mentioned how he leaves immediately after and doesn’t re-appear for a few hours. They don’t mention how sometimes he wears clothes that could fit someone Cap’s size, or how every Saturday night he locks himself in his room with his music playing as he convinces himself to take his shot.</p><p>Ned and MJ think he should just tell them, because there’s no point in keeping a secret.</p><p>“Starks filthy fucking rich, Peter, he can help you with top surgery,” MJ reminds him one afternoon as they’re walking to Ned’s.</p><p>Peter’s pulled out from his planning of how to hold MJ’s hand. “What?”</p><p>She shrugs, hands still in her pockets. “I mean, he’s basically your dad, now, and I’m sure if you told him he’d get you the best surgeon with the best results. You could actually swim with Ned and I for more than half an hour.”</p><p>“Isn’t that like, using him?” Peter asks, bringing up a hand to bite at a hangnail. MJ bats it out of his mouth and laces their fingers together, making Peter choke on his next question. The tips of MJ’s ears are dark with a blush.</p><p>“If I asked my parents for money for my art school application, would that be using them?”</p><p>“Well, no.”</p><p>“Exactly. And the monetary value may be different, but they’re both things that help us with our mental health.”</p><p>“I hate when you use sound logic,” Peter jokes, and MJ smiles.</p><p>When they get to Ned’s, he agrees. “Dude, I love you, but you’re being stupid about it. Remember when Mr. Stark bought us those Star Wars Lego sets that were like, nearly 100 dollars each, just because you offhandedly mentioned you thought one was cool?”</p><p>Peter smiles. There’s <em>still </em>some they haven’t had a chance to put together yet. “Yeah, but that’s just his love language, or whatever. He buys people things. It’s different than asking him to shell out close to twenty thousand dollars to remove fat on my chest.”</p><p>“Fat on your chest that causes you great mental distress,” MJ points out. “Come on, don’t you want to start Senior Year without worrying about this?”</p><p>“You guys know better than anyone that I do, but it feels wrong.”</p><p>“Well, you’re a Stark Intern, right? I heard all of his employees have crazy good insurance. You’re probably covered under that.” Ned pulls out his laptop, “there has to be a fourm or something where people talk about it.”</p><p>It turns out there’s a whole <em>website</em> dedicated to people posting about what Mr. Starks done for them. It takes Ned a bit of scrolling, but after a while he pushes the laptop towards Peter. “Read it,” he says.</p><p>“I won’t say my name to protect my daughter’s privacy,” Peter starts to read, “but I’m an entry-level employee with Mr. Stark. My daughter was at the end of her rope before I got this job. She was twenty-three, trans, and only ever on hormone blockers because that’s what we could afford. After three months at Stark Industries, my insurance kicked in, and as someone who used to be on the poverty line, I scoured all of the paperwork to see what coverage was available to my daughter and I. I was shocked when there was a whole section dedicated to transgender care.” Peter has to stop reading to take a deep breath, and MJ places a hand on his knee.</p><p>“My daughter’s affirming surgeries and hormones would all be covered by the insurance plan. I only have to present my card, and it’ll be taken care of. That was two years ago. My daughter is the happiest and the <em>healthiest </em>she’s ever been.”</p><p>Peter looks up at Ned. “She <em>worked </em>there, though, I’m unpaid.”</p><p>“Keep reading,” Ned encourages, so Peter does.</p><p>“She also got a personalized card signed by Mr. Stark himself, alongside a bouquet of flowers. Two of her friend’s GoFundMe’s were filled for their affirming care, as well.”</p><p>“He paid for three strangers to get affirming care,” Michele said, “he’d go above and beyond for you.”</p><p>Peter bites his lip. “I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“Just think,” MJ says, “you helped defeat Thanos, nothing can be scarier than that.”</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so this is the end of Peter's Coming Out (so short, I know), and the next chapter will just be some post-top surgery scenes and tooth-rotting fluff. I just wanted to write something super lighthearted today as my own dysphoria blues hit.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Peter’s saved from trying to bring it up himself after getting stopped by Tony on his way back to his room after sparring with Steve one night.  </p><p>“Hey kiddo, got a minute?” Tony looks deeply uncomfortable, and it piques Peter’s interest. His ribs are aching, but he knows his healing will prevent him from any actual injury.</p><p>“Yeah, of course,” he says, “where to?”</p><p>“Just come out to the living room, yeah? Pepper and I want to have a talk with you.”</p><p>Peter feels his heart drop to his feet. Oh god, is this when he gets kicked off the team because they know? He honestly didn’t think it was that big of a deal, outside of the breathing issues he gets sometimes and how he can’t do certain group exercises. Tony must see something, because he stiffly pats Peter’s shoulder.</p><p>“It’s nothing awful,” Tony reassures. “Just supremely awkward.”</p><p>That doesn’t quell Peter’s nerves, but he follows Tony out to the living room and sits gingerly on the one of the big arm chairs, not wanting to get sweat on the expensive upholstery.</p><p>“Peter,” Pepper greets warmly, and some of Peter’s fears ease.</p><p>“So, Aunt May wanted us to have this conversation with you, because she feels like you’d be less embarrassed by it. It was Cap who brought it up initially, and I don’t want you to think we’re mad at you or telling you this to embarrass you.”</p><p>Peter bites his lip. “I was going to tell you, but I just—”</p><p>Tony holds up a hand. “I’m not done. We just thought if we had the talk the three of us, it’d be less embarrassing for all involved.”</p><p>Peter hates how he keeps using <em>embarrassing</em>, instead of ‘awkward’. Him being trans isn’t embarrassing – it’s awkward to navigate, and embarrassing if his packer falls out or something, but it’s not embarrassing as a concept.</p><p>“Cap and the others noticed that after particularly hard sparing sessions you go straight to your room and don’t come out for at least an hour, and that you have a whole lot of clothes bigger than the size you need. You’re what, an extra small in mens? Those shirts could fit the Hulk. He’s also heard you…crying, in the bathroom sometimes.”</p><p>Peter’s sure his face is beet red.</p><p>“Peter,” Pepper says, “you’re seventeen, and it’s okay that you’re exploring your sexuality. With the adrenaline after sparring or battles, it’s normal to feel… excited.”</p><p>Oh, god. <em>Thor, if you’re the type of god that hears things like this</em>, Peter thinks, <em>please strike me with lightning so I don’t have to continue this conversation</em>.</p><p>“We just ask that you let us know who’s sneaking into the tower, that you’re being safe, and that the crying is just due to regular teenage relationship stuff and not because they’re hurting you, or pressuring you into anything.”</p><p>Peter can’t help it, he starts laughing.</p><p>Pepper frowns. “Peter, I don’t think this is funny. We’re trying to look out for you and–”</p><p>Tony doesn’t say anything, staring at Peter like he’s trying to figure it out.</p><p>“I uh,” Peter coughs, trying to get the last of the laughter to go away, “I appreciate the concern, but I’m not seeing anyone who isn’t MJ, I don’t sneak her into the tower, and we’re not really serious enough for her to be making me cry just yet.”</p><p>“Peter,” Tony’s voice is warning, “you don’t have to lie to us.”</p><p>“I’m not! I promise. Just,” he peels his still-damp shirt over his head and gestures to his chest, where tan material clings. “This is a chest binder. It keeps my chest flat. I have about four different ones I wear. I wear them all the time, even when sparring. I leave so fast and stay away for a couple of hours because the sweat needs to cool before I take it off, and it takes a while for the pain to go away and for me to be alright putting it back on again.”</p><p>Neither of them say anything, so he continues. “The big clothes are for when I don’t feel like struggling to get my binder on. It can conceal everything if I’m careful, and the bigger the shirt the more it hides everything. I cry in the bathroom when I have to do my shot because I am still very scared of needles.”</p><p>“You’re injecting yourself every week?” Tony asks, “With what?”</p><p>“Mr. Stark, you’re supposed to be smart,” Peter tries to lighten the mood. “I take testosterone. I’m trans, guys.”</p><p>Pepper sits back in her chair, while Tony gets up and paces, looking at his phone. Peter gulps. This isn’t the reaction he wanted. There’s silence for what feels like ages before Tony speaks again.</p><p>“So you’re telling me, you’re wearing something that constricts your ribs, and therefore your breathing, while you’re training with some of the hardest-hitting people on Earth, and running drills that would make anyone who’s not Steve winded. Peter, we talked about putting yourself in unnecessary danger.”</p><p>“I do the drills in my suit, and you put so many bullet-proof layers it actually binds pretty well,” Peter offers.</p><p>“That’s not the point! You should have come to me, Peter. We could have done something, anything other than you risking your life while training.”</p><p>“Tony,” Pepper says softly, “look at him. Now’s not the time for that part of the conversation.”</p><p>Tony deflates. “She’s right, but we’ll be talking about it later. Come here.”</p><p>Peter walks over, trying not to drag his feet. He’s surprised when Tony pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and kisses the top of his head. “You’re family, Peter,” he says, “and I don’t know what you think would happen when you told us, but this doesn’t change anything. Much. We’re going to have to figure out training, but it doesn’t change how we see you.”</p><p>“Can you tell us a bit more, Peter?” Pepper asks when Tony releases him and Peter’s on the couch between the two of them. “If you’re comfortable.”</p><p>So Peter tells them everything. He mentions top-surgery briefly and cringes when he does, not wanting Mr. Stark to say he talked about it on purpose.</p><p>“Like, total removal? You wouldn’t have to wear that anymore?” Tony nods down to the binder, and Peter hesitates, but nods. “I’d be kinda stuck to my bed or a couch for a week, but won’t be able to do anything Avengers related for six.”</p><p>Tony hums. “And it’s your summer vacation right now.”</p><p>Peter nods. “But Mr. Stark, you really don’t have to. I’m saving up slowly but surely, and I should have it by my sophomore year of college.”</p><p>Tony narrows his eyes at Peter. “This is affecting your health, and from my quick google search, your physical <em>and </em>mental health. Every Avenger needs to be in peak physical health, and <em>I </em>want you in good mental health. You’re also probably not giving sparring and training your all if you’re held back by the pain, and it would be worse if you got attacked without the suit.”</p><p>“Mr. Stark…”</p><p>“We talked about Tony, kid. Now, I’m seeing it as an Avengers expense. We could probably work it out so you could get it done in about two weeks, and keep you here while you recover, since Aunt May will be working and there’s so many of us. And then we can keep you through July as well, and let you really train. Your healing might even speed your recovery time…”</p><p>“Tony,” Peter says, “I don’t want you to have to.” He’s embarrassingly close to tears.</p><p>“Peter this is for you <em>and </em>the team. We <em>want </em>to do this for you.” Pepper says, “and it makes the most sense to do it now.”</p><p>“That’s what MJ and Ned said,” Peter admits.</p><p>“And your friends are very smart,” Tony says.</p><p>“I’m going to have to come out to the Team, aren’t I?”</p><p>“Not if you don’t want to. But Peter, they won’t <em>care</em> if it means you’re going to be healthy and happy.”</p><p>They spend the rest of the afternoon talking about it. Peter decides he’ll talk to Cap first, because he grew up gay and in love with his best friend in the thirties, so he’s likely to be the most tolerant. Bucky, next, for the same reason. The rest of the team will depend on who he runs into first.</p><p>He feels nearly dizzy with relief. He knows that there’s still <em>more</em> he’ll have to face as a young trans man, but this biggest hurdle is over. All of the important people in his life know and still love him. He can take on pretty much anything, now.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>